before a word was spoken




"Happy. And then I got afraid that it would vanish as quickly as it came. That it was accidental-- that I didn't deserve it. It's like this very, very nice car crash that never ends."

everybody else, even yourself








if we keep moving, chances are we're headed in the right direction. i guess we're just supposed to keep on walking until we find out if that's really true...

two colors in my head





"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected..."



Are thoughts ever really lucid for long? most of the time i feel like my thoughts are mostly in progress with only moments of clarity. even if there is a clear moment, it seems that my brain will move onto the next idea before any real conclusions can be drawn. i wonder if our subconscious keeps our most clear thoughts hidden. i have a feeling in our sleep this is where we can find some sort of clarity.

My dreams are mostly nonsensical & chaotic. At the same time, it's so strange that dream life seems so clear when you're sleeping. Your newly acquired ability to fly & breathe fire...makes complete sense because you make it valid with your own dream logic. (that was from some dream where i was a dragon btw - which was prrrretty bad ass). how strange your brain has to almost shut down to be able to process your subconscious.

when awake, i find i have to consciously tell myself to focus when i notice my mind wandering. I wonder if you even need a game plan for your mind in order to find order for your thoughts. It kind of makes sense to get those kinds of things set so you can find direction & then finally some clarity for your mind. Maybe i'm wrong though...maybe the future will be what it will be, and you just have to find joy in the moment. Maybe things aren't supposed to be completely clear anyways....maybe life will always continue to unfold new mysteries about everything.

runaway


"the state of constant distraction that allows people to avoid difficult realities..."

!!!


so this entire Runaway film is gorgeous. this is my favorite...

We are changed souls





"My mind then wandered. I thought of this: I thought of how every day each of us experiences a few little moments that have just a bit more resonance than other moments—we hear a word that sticks in our mind—or maybe we have a small experience that pulls us out of ourselves, if only briefly—we share a hotel elevator with a bride in her veils, say, or a stranger gives us a piece of bread to feed to the mallard ducks in the lagoon; a small child starts a conversation with us in a Dairy Queen—or we have an episode like the one I had with the M&M cars back at the Husky station.

And if we were to collect these small moments in a notebook and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends emerge from our collection—certain voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us. We would realize that we have been having another life altogether; one we didn’t even know was going on inside us. And maybe this other life is more important than the one we think of as being real—this clunky day-to-day world of furniture and noise and metal. So just maybe it is these small silent moments which are the true story-making events of our lives." -D. Coupland

from far away





"This is about all the bad days in the world. I used to have some little bad days, and I kept them in a little box. And one day, I threw them out into the yard. "Oh, it's just a couple little innocent bad days." Well, we had a big rain. I don't know what it was growing in but I think we used to put eggshells out there and coffee grounds, too. Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me. Choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothin'. They're your days. Choke 'em!" T. Waits

sometimes i hear it


"When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself"




time takes a cigarette








I believe that sight is so much more than visual. How we connect with the things we see is so interesting to me. I think that sight relates to our subconscious in a way that translates as a feeling. Do you ever notice how within certain environments there's almost an instant draw to it - like you know that place? I think people can do that too. It's really cool is when there is some sort of an unspoken connection with a friend. I'm not even sure there's a word for it...or if it's the same for everyone. It's kinda like that feeling you get listening to your favorite song orrrr that feeling of looking up at the stars when there are no city lights to steal their shine.